Saying Sorry
by Kakashi-obssessed
Summary: It was nice thinking such a simple process as drowning yourself in the rain would get rid of your problems. KakaSaku. Inspired by the song ‘Saying Sorry’ by Hawthorne Heights.


**Saying Sorry**

**Summary:** It was nice thinking such a simple process as drowning yourself in the rain would get rid of your problems. KakaSaku. Inspired by the song 'Saying Sorry' by Hawthorne Heights.

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_Didn't notice the fact that my heart had started beating erratically, didn't notice that my eyes had looked different from a second ago, didn't notice the mere fact that I had reacted to a certain name…_

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Something the girl was lacking today. 

Something that was absent…

…and made anyone look complete…was a smile.

She was smiling. Whether it was a happy one, Ino was oblivious to. A smile was a smile in her books.

'What are you smiling at now?' Ino voiced, the sides of her lips quirking upwards as well. It was contagious to Ino.

Sakura looked up at Ino with another sweet smile. 'Oh, I just-

–_think Kakashi is too good for me and that I should stop thinking of him_, _or I'd end up with feeling something more than this crush on him, that's why I'm smiling, I should be happy for him and his girlfriend–_

_-_thought it was very nice of you to bring me here to buy me coffee to catch up' Sakura smiled. 'I'll see you round!' she exclaimed cheerfully. And before Ino knew it, she had waved a hand and had walked out of the café. Ino shook her head as she eyed her own empty mug.

'Strange…'

* * *

People would have thought she were happy like most of the Konoha villagers were right then. But really, inside she was battling her heart and her feelings for a certain silver-haired man. _–I'm happy for him, he's with someone who he loves…cares for…and respects…and wants to be with…that's why I'm happy, right?-_

Her brows furrowed slightly at the thought. She had never been this confused about anything since the uncertainty of the Uchiha's feelings for her in their Genin days. She had already claimed that she was happy for him. So what was this other feeling she felt which seemed to interfere? She didn't know. She was confused.

Utterly confused. As confused as a love-sick teenager could get really.

She smiled again at someone who she was familiar with who also walked down the same street as she.

_-The beauty of fake smiles_- she thought.

She sighed. It'd be better for her if she stayed at home, before she ran out of muscle to smile. Honestly. She had seen the people she really didn't feel like seeing. And the people she did were off on missions, she supposed. _–Or at home making out with their girlfriend- _she thought dully with a head dragged downwards. Sure an inner-self could drive away unwanted people out of her mind (e.g. Ino), but sometimes having an inner self had its disadvantages too. It was just so damn right about what she was really feeling. And she didn't really think she wanted to know what she was _really_ thinking. Did that even make sense?

But that was when she _knew_ what she was feeling. Why couldn't it help her when she _didn't_ know? _–Damn it all-_

Something cold suddenly trickled down her cheek. And no, fortunately it was not her tears of dismay. It was rain, she found as she touched the cold clear substance. With a lift of her head, more rain dropped upon her face. Shutting her eyes, hoping it would somehow cleanse and wash away everything that was a burden in her life. She knew it was child-like to think of such possibilities. But everyone could wish right? It was nice thinking such a simple process as drowning yourself in the rain would get rid of your problems.

It was a nice thought.

She smiled a real one this time. She didn't care that people had looked at her as though she were insane (though maybe she was), she didn't even give a damn that the rain was so heavy her clothes turned transparent and that all the boys around had gathered up to stare at her brea-

Her eyes suddenly snapped up. She looked around.

_-Phew- _

It was all in her head. There was no one around. In fact the rain seemed to have been heavy enough to scare most of the people to retreat to their homes by now. Sakura gave a huff.

They were missing the fun.

She slowly trotted her way home, unable to resist jumping into a few puddles or course. She didn't care. For once she felt the most carefree she had ever felt, she realised. Was this how Kakashi felt most of the time? The fact that he was oblivious that she was torn because of him? He didn't seem to notice, or perhaps he simply didn't care. Was he really a care-less person? No…not Kakashi. Definitely not.

She paused.

So he didn't know?

Looking down at the puddle below her. She frowned at her reflection, the ugly thing that couldn't even control her own feelings staring back at her. She snarled like a wolf then, as she kicked the water into the air angrily. -_Pathetic. You're pathetic. Completely pathetic Sakura-_

'Sakura?' A voice suddenly spoke from behind. There was a moment of shock as Sakura's mind registered who that deep voice belonged to, eyes wide at the realisation as water trickled down her cool cheeks. Her skin was cold, but the mere sound of his voice warmed her heart.

She didn't turn around; she didn't want to see him, not now. Not when she was soaked in rain, not when she looked her worst.

And there, the moment of rain-induced silence. She used the silence to lightly ponder on whether she should turn around and confront him or make a dash towards home.

'You'll get sick standing in the rain like that' he called. She breathed deeply in defeat.

–_Guess he just decided for me- _It was too late to run away now, he had caught her. _–Here goes- _

Slowly turning her head around, she immediately started regretting. Who wouldn't? I mean, there was your crush standing in the rain, face impassive, clothes all wet clinging to his lean figure…his water-logged hair a damp tuff…that framed his perfectly shaped… masked face…_-Damn that mask…- _Damn these thoughts!

He beckoned her towards him with a finger, she sighed and did so. She grudgingly walked towards him, keeping her eye contact to the ground, watching the soft splashes her feet made against the puddles. Just when she was about to look up and open her mouth to say something, his hand had gripped hers tightly, not in a hurtful way, but in a reassuring sort of grip. She eyed him curiously, as he eyed her too.

Then her eyes widened as he slowly bent down where his lips almost touched her ears. 'Come with me' he rasped, his voice unusually deeper and rougher than usual. But she liked it, it made her shudder slightly, though she wasn't sure whether it was the rain or his close proximity, probably the latter she supposed.

She followed his foot steps as they made a dash across the road to a sheltered alleyway, quite aware that they were holding hands in public. Didn't he notice too? Didn't he care? Did he like it? Then he came to a halt, stopping quite abruptly, making her almost bump into his backside. She waited, expecting him to do or at least say something. Then it hit her, did he even have anything to say?

'Kakashi?' she began hesitantly.

He's back was still facing her. It was strange really. For once, it looked as though Kakashi was really lost. She opened her mouth to say something suitable, only to realise silence seemed to fit in best.

'Sakura' he began, gradually turning his head around to face her, face impassive as always from what she could tell with his one visible eye. But she knew better, she knew that behind it, there was so much more emotion on his face. Staring at him in such a state, made her want to say sorry for some reason. Maybe she was sorry for making him worry about her? Or for always being in the way? Perhaps she just wanted to apologise for ever falling in love with him. Sorry for complicating his life, and disturbing his feelings. _-Yeah, that must be it-_

She too looked down at the ground between them, trying to build up some courage to speak. Chewing lightly on her lip she knew she wouldn't get anywhere, she looked up at him mouth open. 'Kakashi, I just wanted to sa-'

'I'm sorry' he spoke above her. He was staring down at her this time.

It took her a while to register what he had said at first, distracted from…him in wet clothes and wet hair, it was all to breathe taking really, but mostly because of the way he was staring down at her. Then for a brief moment she saw his gaze had dropped down to her chest. She didn't know how to feel about that. Should she have slapped him across the face and called him a pervert? _-Great-_ she thought sarcastically. _–I really shouldn't have worn white today- _But truthfully, it didn't bother her _that_ much. Unlike the time she had woken up to find Naruto groping her, when they had camped. She remembered the day clearly; Naruto should have too, considering the huge, unforgettable purple bruise he had carried home afterwards.

'For what?' she finally responded, vaguely remembering what he had said.

'I think you know why' he said looking sidewards this time, avoiding any eye contact, or maybe he just didn't want to get distracted at looking at her chest?

'And what if I don't?' she tested as she unconsciously pulled closer towards him.

He sighed. 'I think you do' he replied in a deep tone, diverting his attention back to her. _–God, can he stop looking at me like that?-_

She thought about what he had said for a moment. What was he sorry for? Hmm…for being too good-looking for his own good? Or, maybe for having that irresistible charm of his? For hurting her, by brushing off her feelings? Maybe.

Maybe all of the above? She really wasn't sure.

He probably stood silent waiting for her to reply or think about what he had said, but the silence was eating at her. Looking down at the ground, she took note of how close their feet were. Looking up to see his face again (well…eye, to be exact), she suddenly took in a sharp intake of breathe, realising just how much closer he was to her from a few moments ago. Noses almost touching, his chest lightly bumping against hers. His breath softly fanning against her cold skin. _–Break the silence!- _His hands were slowly making there way up to her waist, slowly, almost hesitantly. He was looking at her like that again.

'Kakashi, I'm sorry t-'

Before she was able to even finish her sentence, Kakashi had pulled his mask down and had pressed his lips against hers. Backing her up against the wall. She gasped, her eyes widening significantly, but her face softened at the feel of his lips against hers, and his body being pressed against her own. It was an incredible feeling, one she couldn't describe with words. It all happened so fast, her mind went hazy and out of focus. His hands then found the courage to touch her, as he placed his two hands on her hips, his thump softly caressing her hipbone, making her gasp again in pleasure.

She felt new to this feeling, she hadn't been kissed like this since a long time. It was by far her first kiss with Kakashi. _–But hopefully not my last-_ But why was he suddenly unveiling himself? Didn't he have a girl waiting for him at home? But right now, all those questions didn't seem to matter, what did, was right in front of her.

His hands were crawling up her shirt now, slowly, but hastily pulling her shirt up inch by inch, as he started to rock his hips against hers, dragging out a raw moan from her lips. It felt so good having him so close to her, she had trouble breathing from his closeness. She wanted to go on, but she couldn't shake the fact that this man already had a girlfriend.

Was he using her?

At this realisation, she immediately pulled back. His lips leaving hers.

Her eyes widened at the sight before her as she pulled away. It was then that she realised that she had never seen his face. It never really occurred to her. After all those years of being her teacher, after those times when team seven would try to pry off his mask, he had never once revealed his face. And she had just kissed him, without his mask. There he was just as shocked as she, bare faced before her. He was beautiful. No doubt about it. His lips slightly parted with shock, but also from exertion. He was breathing heavily she noted, just as she was. It almost made her wish she hadn't pulled away. He looked so young and handsome; he couldn't really be thirty two.

She was clinging to the wall behind her now. She didn't really know why, she just felt like she needed to hold on to something, or she might've collapsed. Though she probably would have preferred to cling onto him instead.

She suddenly felt a wave of guilt as she stared at his face, he was in shock, and he looked hurt. _–Wait! I'm the one that's hurt!- _All these thoughts started to cloud her mind, she couldn't think straight. Too many things had happened. _Kiss. Girlfriend. Face. Kakashi. Kiss. Face. Girlfriend. Kakashi. _She needed to talk to him about all of the topics mentioned above to him. She had to get things clear. But how could she when she couldn't even _think_ clearly? She opened her mouth to ask him what had just happened, but something else came out. Something she was supposed to say to him before their little make-out session.

'I-I…I'm sorry…' And with that, she buried her head in her palms, and ran past him.

She half expected him to call out her name, and chase after her in the rain, but he didn't. She didn't even hear him attempting to call after her. And that alone made her want to cry even more. Tears had already built up and started to cascade down her cheeks in sync with the rain. He really didn't care about her.

She cried her way home. Hiccuping and rubbing at her eyes continuously. She couldn't stop. She hated him. She hated him for everything he had put her through. She hated him.

But above all, she hated herself. She hated herself for ever falling in love with him.

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Hope you liked it! Ahhh…it was a really random thing. I just read a lot of KakaSaku, and I just got inspired to write a story of my favourite coupling It was also inspired by the song 'Saying Sorry' by Hawthorne Heights, as you can see in my summary. It was quite the motivator when I was writing this. 

I just opened Microsoft Word and started typing whatever came to mind, literally. That's why it aint that good XD and well, it led me to write this thing.

Sorry it was short > but I didn't know whether it was worth continuing. XD Well, it's up to you guys whether you want me to continue. If not, then it'd stay as one chapter…? XD Review please! I hate to think that I uploaded this for no reason >


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